Personally Defining Pornography

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In 1964 Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart wrote, "I shall not today attempt to further define pornography...but I know it when I see it." I don't know what Justice Stewart saw that let him know what pornography was, but I do know that every recovering addict who has an issue with pornography needs to define pornography for him or herself. There is material labeled as pornography - soft core, hard core, and the rest. And then there is all of the other stuff that is not labeled as pornography but that functions as porn in your addiction.

If you have an issue with pornography then you have probably determined that consuming pornography is among your bottom lines. What you may have neglected is defining pornography for yourself and your recovery. You may need to take a hint from Justice Stewart.

If looking at the undergarment section of the Sears Catalog or watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on TV activates your obsessive sexual brain or elicits an addictive response, then that material is pornography to your brain. If bill boards advertising "Gentlemen's Entertainment" activate your addiction system, then that is pornography for you. If sex scenes in R rated movies or on television activate your addiction, that is pornography for you. If photos of nude primitive people in National Geographic activates your addictive brain, that is pornography for you. Your personal definition of pornography requires taking a careful and honest inventory.

Sit down and make a list of possible kinds of pornography you might encounter or consume. Make it thorough and exhaustive. Think of each type and decide what qualifies as pornography for you. Share your list with someone you trust in your recovery. They may notice things you have missed. Revise your list.

When your list is complete, then decide what you need to do to deal with each instance. If your wife gets Victoria's Secret Catalogs, decide how you will deal with having them in the house. If you drive by pornographic billboards going to work, you may want to change your route. Make your list of interventions thorough and doable and honest and then share it with someone you trust in your recovery. Again make appropriate revisions.

The logic here is very simple. Every time you rev up your addiction brain, you slow your recovery. Every time you avoid activating your addiction brain, you advance your recovery. The program only works if you work it.

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