Run the Video to the End
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Sex addicts often engage in "euphoric recall of past sexual "acting out". This may be a gateway or trigger to further acting out. In doing this, addicts often ignore the impact and consequences of their behavior; they do not "Run the Video to the End." Reviewing the entire memory is often a useful method of consolidating sobriety and preventing further "acting out".
Sit quietly and comfortably. Breathe deeply and center yourself in your thoughts and feelings. Recall a time you acted out. "Fast-forward" through the euphoric part of the memory. Then, once you have passed the "X and R rated" part, slow down and carefully review your experience.
How did you conceal your acting out?
Did your thinking become cluttered, busy, obsessive, worried?
Did you lie? To whom? How did you feel when you lied?
Did you feel fear, shame, sadness, anger? What did you do to relieve your feelings?
Remember looking into the eyes of your partner, your friends, your children, your coworkers. How did you feel? How did you feel when you looked in the mirror?
Now remember that these painful experiences resulted from the way you treated yourself. Ask yourself, "Is this how I deserve to live?" If you knew that someone else was inflicting such suffering on another, would you tolerate it? If someone else inflicted such pain on you, would you deepen a relationship with that person? Resolve that you deserve to treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding and that by "acting-out", you always harm yourself. Take in the feeling that you deserve your own love and kindness.
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