What is the Need?

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Addicts, including sexual addicts, act out to meet emotional needs. This is basic. Think of a particular time you acted out and reflect on what was going on with you at that time. Were you worried, lonely, bored, afraid, relieved, proud (arrogant), angry, confused, hungry, and so forth. Really let yourself absorb the essence of your inner condition before and as you began to think about and plan to act out. When you know what you were thinking and feeling, consider what you really needed. Did need to let go of your worry and fear, spend time with a friend, find a productive and growthful activity, solve a problem? Did you need to pray, meditate, or contemplate the direction of your life? Realize that when you choose to escape into acting out rather than acknowledging your needs, you are not caring for yourself. You are only masking your needs by the addictive use of sexual feelings. Resolve that you deserve kinder and more compassionate treatment than your addict is able to deliver.

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